Coming round..

January’s been kind of a bit of a blur.

my blog has been neglected………… and you know when you haven’t talked to someone in a long time it feels kinda awkward to talk again…. kinda like well hmm I don’t know what to say?
Well that’s how I’ve been feeling.. that and if I’m honest, a whole lotta depression lately.

I don’t like to be down on my blog but I don’t like to lie either.This is my place to be just me– even crazy me.
Winter is kinda a rough time– It’s beautiful

But rough for me. There’s rarely sunshine it’s cloudy a lot and it’s to cold to get out and exercise or do a lot of projects– heck it’s to cold to get out at all for me especially with my kids in tow, the roads are slick and I am a paranoid driver- there’s weeks that I’m stuck inside all the time–

I felt like I was doing okay this year– I mean I’ve been actually making dinner for the fam{I know that one’s a shocker– I hate cooking} and Payton’s been getting his homework done-we’ve been doing Brynley’s school- the house is clean- laundry’s all done and caught up- I didn’t have a breakdown in church like I did last January- and that is always a big plus :) but..

I am halfway through book six in the harry potter series- and it’s only been a week
I’ve been wearing Dave’s T-shirts everyday- haven’t showered in 3days {and even though Dave says he loves me still- all gross and stinky- I hate feeling that way- I like to be the wife dressed and looking good for hubby when he gets home}
I have had absolutely no desire to do or create anything like I usually do,
I’ve been comparing myself to other people in blogland and of course I always come up short -way short.
haven’t felt like eating much, and I have wondered what the heck my purpose lately is.

All not really good signs-I see them- I recognize them– but still it’s hard to fight them and wake up nonetheless. So even though January has been so white and beautiful

 It’s not been a good month for me.

but here’s to turning a new leaf– Life is always better when I realize that Heavenly Father loves me I’m his child, I don’t have to be the best at anything {cuz I’m pretty sure I never will be} it’s okay to be just me even if i’m crazy sometimes, and to just do the best with the talents he’s givin me- and try to make my life something that when it’s all said and done It will be well.

when all is said and done
as the season slips away
when i’ve taken steps beyond my sight
will i find my strength in greater light
will my courage grow with every passing day
and will my faith be constant as the setting sun
when all is said and done

when all is said and done

and the years have turned to gold

will my life become a legacy

of the things that matter most to me

will the fire of faith grow bright inside me

and will i want to be the person i’ve become

when all is said and done

when all is said and done

when my eyes can finally see

will i glory in the sweet release

and will mercy fill my soul with peace

will i kneel and wonder at the savior’s feet

will i hear him say, “well done”

when he sees who i’ve become

will i live with him

when all is said and done 

My favorite song that always brings me to tears and touches my soul 
“when all is said and done” by Katherine Nelson

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  1. January 27, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Alicia, I love you! I went through a pretty big rough patch this past year, and I can completely relate to everything you’ve been talking about. Hang in there. Just know that I look up to you immensely. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to cheer you up! :)

  2. January 27, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    Your honesty and openness is a breath of fresh air. I wish that just the act of putting it out there would make it all better. The truth is many of us feel overwhelmed already and then when we use a glossy shiny blog as a measure of what we are not, it only adds to the feelings of inadequacy. I hope your clouds break soon and the sun shines brightly on your face! And know that just outside the frame on most of those rosy photos, likely lurks stray socks and dust bunnies!

  3. January 28, 2011 at 2:03 am

    I agree!!! I get so down in the winter. I have been so sad that I couldn’t go to Blissdom, and than if I did go I would be afraid no one would know who I was or talk to me.

    I stopped doing blog parties because my family was being neglected and I kept comparing myself too. I always come up short also.

    There’s only like 50 something days until spring so you can make it.

    Its ok to neglect your blog. You know the saying about true friends will always be there and the rest weren’t really your friends anyway.

  4. January 28, 2011 at 2:27 am

    I am so glad you posted this! Sometimes it all just gets a bit ridiculous inside, doesn’t it? Hugs and love Sister in Christ(0; You are spectacular. I really look up to you, and I hope you know that three days without a shower or not, you are beautiful inside and out, AND you have a cheaper water bill. See? You win!(0; You’re doing great sweet woman. Stay awesome and just revel in all of the love your family has for you. Take your time! You’re still healing from that adorable Ellie Baby. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It is so not your fault you feel this way. Go hug your hubby and know that masses of people out there love you(0: Here’s to a beautiful rest of the winter friend. And if it isn’t beautiful? At least there’s still Spring to look forward too(0; *Hugs* and God bless(0:

  5. January 28, 2011 at 6:41 am

    I came across your blog somehow. There was a link to your farmhouse table. (sorry, don’t remember where). Oh my gosh. you are so amazing!!! I would love tutorials on how you refinish your furniture.
    I relate to everything you’re saying! Hang in there.

  6. January 28, 2011 at 6:45 am
    ok, this is where i found your blog :) (just in case you were curious, cause if it was me it would drive me nuts)

  7. January 29, 2011 at 5:48 am

    Oh Alicia, i hardly ever check blogspot anymore, but im so glad i did. I just want you to know how much i love you! When we lived in Colorado, i always looked so forward to seeing you and felt like you were my best friend. The last time i saw you, i was so stressed and my kids were driving me nuts, so i was so sad to not be able to sit and have a heart to heart with you. I just really think you are wonderful. Isnt it the pits that we are all at the mercy of our hormones? I have felt exactly the way you are feeling and its no fun! If i werent on medication, i would have been commited to an asylum along time ago! Also, i am so jealous of you and always have been! I love how soft spoken and kind you are to your children and husband. I also envy your ability to make everything beautiful. I am always so happy to be around you. I know things will start looking up–just yell at your at your body “get back to normal darn it!” that should help. Your in my prayers sweet Alicia.

  8. January 29, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    I feel for you. I’ve been feeling really down myself. Completely overwhelmed with everything. And completely overwhelmed with the need to be better. Love the song you posted. It’s so hard not to compare yourself to others and constantly feel that you come up short. But in the end, all that really matters is that you’ve done the best you can. It’s still so hard though. Wishing you peace and that the sun starts shining. Thanks for sharing this.

  9. February 3, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Great post! So many times, especially in blog land, it seems as though everyone is happy, happy, happy and their lives are so perfect. Only because we post mostly about the happy times or fun things we do. I live in Ohio and it has been grey and dreary but today the sky is blue and the sun is shining and I am happy. Sad to say that the weather definitely has an affect on my mood.

  10. February 11, 2011 at 4:41 am

    i just love how you designed your pillow! Wild Thing is my favortie pattern also! I have been quilting about 10 years and have left comments many times on your blog in the past. Bliss was an instant favorite first time I saw it.

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